Michelle McCarthy, Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor/Supervisor

03/04/2025

❤️

01/11/2025

YOU CAN SIT WITH ME!!!!

You got hammered at the bar on Saturday but came to church on Sunday…. You can sit with me. You’re right where you need to be.

You’re a drug addict but came to church on Sunday…. You can sit with me. You’re right where you need to be.

You’re divorced, and the last church you attended condemned you for it…. You can sit with me. You’re right where you need to be.

You’ve had an abortion and it’s slowly eating away at your heart, but you came to church on Sunday…. You can sit with me. You’re right where you need to be.

You’ve been unfaithful to your spouse but came to church on Sunday…. You can sit with me. You’re right where you need to be.

Here’s the thing, people don’t come to church on Sunday for you to sit in the pew and quietly judge them because you feel that you’re somehow better than them.

People come to church because in their deepest, darkest, most painful moments, they heard about a man named Jesus who could save their soul and they’d like to know Him.

Mark 2:17.... On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous...

01/10/2025

🤭🫠
Ten Unknown Facts About
Founding: Tesla was founded in 2003 by engineers Martin Eberhard and Marc Tarpenning,
not Elon Musk. Musk joined the company as a major investor and became its public face.

Model Naming Quirk: Tesla’s car lineup follows a playful pattern: Model S, 3, X, and Y.
Elon Musk has said it was meant to spell "S3XY," with the number 3 replacing an "E."

Battery Focus: Tesla's breakthrough isn’t just in electric cars but also in battery technology. Tesla has invested heavily in creating powerful and long-lasting batteries, not only for cars but also for energy storage solutions like Powerwall.

Autopilot and Full Self-Driving: Tesla’s Autopilot is an advanced driver-assistance system, but it’s not fully autonomous. The company is working on Full Self-Driving (FSD) software, which could eventually enable true autonomous driving.

Gigafactories: Tesla operates massive manufacturing plants known as Gigafactories, located in the U.S., China, and Germany. These factories are integral to Tesla’s ability to scale production and reduce costs.

SpaceX Connection: Tesla and SpaceX, both run by Elon Musk, share more than just a CEO. The companies collaborate on technology, and SpaceX’s Falcon Heavy rocket even launched a Tesla Roadster into space as part of a 2018 test flight.

Sustainable Vision: Tesla's mission is to accelerate the world’s transition to sustainable energy.
In addition to electric cars, the company is a leader in solar power and energy storage solutions.

Over-the-Air Updates: Tesla was the first car manufacturer to allow over-the-air software updates, letting owners download new features and improvements to their cars without visiting a dealership.

AI and Robots: Tesla’s AI Day event introduced Tesla Bot, a humanoid robot designed to handle dangerous or
repetitive tasks, showcasing Musk’s vision for AI and robotics beyond automobiles.

Environmental Impact: Tesla has reduced the overall carbon footprint of its vehicle manufacturing and is
working on creating fully recyclable batteries, making it a leader in the green automotive revolution.

01/10/2025

If he blamed you for his actions and never apologized, he lacked the maturity to take responsibility for his behavior. Blame was his way of deflecting accountability, leaving you burdened with guilt that was never yours to carry.

If it was always his way or the highway, it was not a partnership but a dictatorship. A relationship is meant to be a union of two souls working together, not one person dominating the other into submission.

When things didn’t go his way and he sulked, he revealed his inability to navigate conflict with grace. Immature responses to challenges left you feeling unheard, as though your needs were irrelevant to him.

If he didn’t know how to hold space for your emotions, it’s because he hadn’t learned to hold space for his own. A man who cannot sit with his own discomfort will struggle to honor yours, leaving you feeling isolated in your pain.

If he was unable to listen to difficult truths about himself, he wasn’t ready to grow. Growth requires humility and courage, two qualities that a loving partner should possess. His resistance to self-reflection hindered both his personal evolution and the health of your relationship.

If he dismissed your boundaries or made you feel like they were unreasonable, he showed a lack of respect for your individuality. Healthy love honors boundaries, knowing they are essential for mutual trust and emotional safety.

If he used manipulation to get what he wanted, whether through guilt, charm, or anger, he did not truly love you—he sought to control you. Love is not about power; it is about mutual empowerment.

If he made you feel small so he could feel big, it was his insecurity speaking, not love. True love uplifts, celebrates, and cherishes—it does not diminish or devalue.

If he avoided meaningful conversations and shut down when things got hard, he failed to invest in the emotional intimacy that sustains a deep connection. Silence in moments of need can be more damaging than words.

If he invalidated your feelings by calling you "too emotional" or "too sensitive," he failed to see your emotions as a beautiful expression of your humanity. Your feelings deserved compassion, not ridicule.

If he couldn’t celebrate your achievements or dreams, it’s because he was threatened by your light. A healthy partner rejoices in your victories and supports your aspirations.

If he failed to make you feel safe in the relationship—emotionally, mentally, or physically—then he wasn’t the man for you. Love should be a sanctuary, not a battlefield.

If you ever felt you had to shrink yourself to fit into his world, remember: you were never too much. He was simply unwilling to rise to the level of your greatness.

If you’ve walked away from such a man, know this: you are brave, strong, and worthy of a love that cherishes you completely. Leaving wasn’t a failure; it was an act of self-love.

You are not responsible for his inability to love you the way you deserved. His shortcomings are not a reflection of your worth. You are whole, radiant, and powerful beyond measure.

The right man will honor you, celebrate you, and grow with you. Until then, hold onto your worth and never settle for less than the love you deserve. - Abhikesh

12/28/2024

12/21/2024

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/18YgybgbeC/

12/21/2024

12/19/2024

Speak life to your children.

12/19/2024

LONELINESS WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE.

_Causes:_

1. Emotional disconnection
2. Lack of communication
3. Unmet emotional needs
4. Different interests and values
5. Infidelity or trust issues

_Signs:_

1. Feeling unheard or unseen
2. Emotional numbness
3. Disconnection from partner
4. Feeling like roommates, not partners
5. Lack of intimacy and affection

_Effects:_

1. Depression and anxiety
2. Low self-esteem
3. Resentment and anger
4. Feelings of isolation
5. Relationship dissatisfaction

_Reasons Why It Happens:_

1. Changing priorities
2. Life transitions (e.g., parenthood)
3. Trauma or past experiences
4. Personality differences
5. Lack of relationship maintenance

_Overcoming Loneliness:_

1. Rekindle emotional intimacy
2. Practice active communication
3. Schedule quality time together
4. Address unmet emotional needs
5. Seek counseling or therapy

_Strategies:_

1. Regular date nights
2. Shared hobbies and interests
3. Meaningful conversations
4. Emotional vulnerability
5. Physical touch and affection

_When to Seek Help:_

1. Persistent feelings of loneliness
2. Relationship dissatisfaction
3. Communication breakdown
4. Emotional distress
5. Considering separation or divorce

Remember:

1. Loneliness can occur in any relationship.
2. Communication is key to reconnecting.
3. Emotional intimacy is essential.
4. Relationship maintenance is crucial.
5. Seeking help is a sign of strength.

Address loneliness by reigniting emotional connection, improving communication, and nurturing your relationship.

Additional Tips:

1. Practice empathy and understanding.
2. Show appreciation and gratitude.
3. Foster independence within the relationship.
4. Cultivate shared goals and values.
5. Prioritize quality time together..
Disclaimer : I hereby declare that I do not own the rights to this post.
All rights belong to the owner.
©️ No Copyright Infringement Intended.

11/13/2024

Trauma bonds have a pattern of abuse that reinforce intense releases and dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline.

The body is completely hijacked— physically.

Overtime, the person stuck in this cycle does many things out of character— just like anyone in addictive addiction. The highs and the lows and the rollercoaster of the emotion become all-consuming.

There’s an intense period of build-up, love bombing, commitment, and promises. Then a withdrawal or rejection happens leaving that partner confused, dazed, and disoriented. Doing anything they can to get back in their partners good graces. Remembering the “good” person and the “good times.” The loving periods feel like a high. And the dark periods feel like a hell.

There’s even more shame when people witness the behavior and ask the person “why aren’t you leaving?” or “why do you put up with this?”

After relationships like this end, there can be months of complex trauma symtoms including:
- gut issues (issues with appetite, digestion
- Insomnia
- Withdrawal symptoms
- High cortisol, hypervigilance
- Lack of self trust, confusion around “did that actually happen? Was I exaggerating? (Self gaslighting)
- Panic/anxiety
- Functional freeze (numbness, completely dissociated)

I hope this post gives you grace if you’ve been in a relationship like this. Or, some empathy if you see someone you care about in one.

I have an upcoming video that dives into the entire cycle of a trauma bond coming soon on YouTube. Subscribe to my channel by searching for my name: Dr. Nicole LePera or “the holistic psychologist.”

Share with anyone who could use awareness

Support and open conversation for anyone who needs it in the comments

10/28/2024

ℹ️🌿 FORGIVENESS DOES NOT REQUIRE RECONCILIATION |

Life is filled with relationships, and where there are relationships, there are bound to be hurts. We've all experienced moments when someone we care about has let us down, betrayed our trust, or caused us pain. In these times, we often hear well-meaning advice to "forgive and forget" or "just move on." But is it really that simple?

Today, I want to explore a crucial distinction that many people overlook: the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Understanding this difference can be transformative in how we approach healing in our relationships and personal growth.

Read the Full Article: https://www.boundaries.me/blog/forgiveness-does-not-require-reconciliation

10/09/2024

A different aspect of grief.

10/09/2024

Every day, countless acts of violence take place in our world.

And yet we never talk about the root cause: an inability to regulate our emotional state.

Every day, countless people die of substance use.

And yet we never talk about the root cause: an inability to regulate our emotional state.

Every day, relationships fall apart. Differences of opinions cause people to become enemies.

And yet we never talk about the root cause: an inability to regulate our emotional state.

Every day, people make impulsive decisions that alter their lives and the lives of those they love in heartbreaking ways.

And yet we never talk about the root cause: an inability to regulate our emotional state.

Every day, children experience unspeakable things in their homes.

And yet we never talk about the root cause: an inability to regulate our emotional state.

May we all practice the pause. May we all learn to breathe deep to create space between the stimulus and the response. May we all learn we are the creator of our external experience once we master the internal. May we forgive ourselves for what we did in survival mode, and start to build the skills to thrive. May we stop looking for bandaid solutions, and start to do the work. May we stop pointing the finger and look at the mirror at ourselves and the energy we bring to every situation.

May we realize that we are all so much more alike than we are different. That we all want the same things.

That once we learn how to cope with the intense thoughts, and body sensations that come with intense emotions— we become free.

May we make it our priority to teach the next generation to become the calm, sturdy, responders— then watch our world change

09/22/2024

Remember this.

09/19/2024

ℹ️ PHOENIX RISING |

I was groomed, not realizing that I was slowly becoming a pile of ashes. I had my son Spenser in my first marriage, sadly, my husband was a drug addict and passed away from the disease. One of the reasons I married my second husband was that he never drank or did any drugs, He also seemed to love Spenser.

He was an expert manipulator, tore off my layers of confidence, self-esteem and my zest for life extremely skillfully with a mix of blame, guilt, love bombing and verbal abuse… that soon became physical.When I got pregnant, the trap— closed! I saw someone I didn’t recognize, angry, hot tempered and violent, but I had been broken down by a Master, so all I did was blame myself for whatever went wrong, just… like he did.

One afternoon When I was 6 months pregnant, I was making dinner and he, as usual, tried to start a fight. I was exhausted. Told him I needed to take a nap. Left and started climbing the long staircase up to the bedrooms. That triggered him. His profanities rang out through the house, I knew I had to hurry to get out of the way. Ice cold fear gripped me as I heard his angry footsteps, like daggers stabbing the stairs behind me. Closing in.

Read the Full Article: https://cptsdfoundation.org/2024/09/17/phoenix-rising/



📷: Yung Pueblo